I don't really have much to say. We thought with guaranteed good embryos, with constant monitoring of my blood and hormone levels, and with drugs to combat any autoimmune disorder, that we had dotted our i's and crossed our t's. We feel disappointed and sad and confused and sad and angry and sad and frustrated and sad.
Our doctor spoke with us for a long time this morning, explaining different options. Although there is nothing we can do differently next time, she encouraged us to try again using our remaining good embryos. This way we'll know for sure that it wasn't just some random fluke, but that it's definitely an issue with me carrying. Moving straight to a gestational carrier is a big jump, (physically, emotionally, and financially) so we want to be certain we have exhausted all chances before going that route. Then, after a failed "next time", we will move forward with a gestational carrier. (If we go that route, we have decided not to use someone we know and love, but to go with a third party surrogacy carrier, for a variety of different reasons that I won't get into.)
During this process, we have "beat the odds" in the most negative ways possible. If there was a "very slight risk" of something happening, then it probably happened. If there was a 95% chance something should happen, then it probably didn't. Next time we do this, we've been told that there is a "slight chance" that the results will be different. (About 5% chance) But since we have been the 1 in 100 on all of the other things, we think we'll make those odds work for us this time! (I dressed up as Katniss Everdeen during opening night of The Hunger Games, and if she can beat the odds, so can we.)
Like Effie Trinket says, "May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor."
Love to all,
Kendall and Will
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