Sleepless Nights

Pace,

By the time you're old enough to read this journey, you may have already heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child." But what you may not have heard yet is that it took a village to have you.

Someone recently told me that the best people in your life "fill your gaps." When you can't seem to make it from one side to the other, they jump in. This blog started as a way to update our closest friends and family during a "simple" IVF journey. However, it became a village; a village of gap-fillers. Family, friends, and strangers came together to support us in a time where our gap seemed extra big and extra scary. And because of them, we were able to cross the big, scary gap to you.

To all these gap-fillers, thank you. Thank you for calling, for texting, for hoping, for praying, for crying, for sharing your stories, for learning with us, and for rejoicing with us.  We are forever changed because of you.

Before July 28, 2015 when I heard people say things like "things can change in an instant", I would think of how many times our hearts were broken in an instant.  Now, my mind flashes to when I rocked you for the first time. Because in that instant, you became the biggest gap-filler of all. You finally filled the hole in my heart that was there always waiting for you.

Little patient soul, I have no idea what is in store for your future. Your dad and I can't WAIT to see it. And while we have lots of hopes and dreams for you, our biggest hope of all is that you'll always know just how loved you are.

Now, it's time for me to go enjoy those sleepless nights.

Love,
Mom

PS. Here's a video of your story!

Pace William

Pace William Monroe was born on July 28, 2015 at 2:33 pm. He came out screaming with his bottom lip quivering, weighing in at 7lbs 3 ounces. There was no greater sound. 

Pace is my maiden name, so this little man shares his name with lots of important people. I hope every time he introduces himself, he remembers that he has a piece of all the Paces in him. I hope he has my dad's integrity, my mom's ability to love so intensely, Katie's open-mindedness, Coatney's loyalty, Calley's sense of humor, Caroline's ability to get along with everyone, and Noah's resilience. And I hope he always knows just how loved he is by all the Paces. 

His middle name is named after his dad (William Jr.) and his grandfather (William Sr.) I hope he has his grandfather's intelligence and his ability to make a mean Bourbon Slush. And I hope he is exactly like his own dad in every single way (except maybe his sulking post Texans-losses).  

And while his name is rooted in family, I also hope he also has a sense of independence. I pray he'll always have his roots grounded in family, but wings big enough to fly.

Will and I had to say a very hard "see you later" to Katy and her family, a few days after Pace was born. (More on his birth story, later.) Our love and feelings towards her and her family feels too sacred to try and explain in this avenue. But as we tried to thank her, we realized her gift to us was also encompassed in our son's name.  Pace, in Italian, means Peace. There is no better description to describe what this little patient soul embodies, and all Katy has given us.  

As I sit here and rock my one-week old, I am overcome with gratitude. But most of all, I'm overcome with peace. Because miracles do happen.