Answers bring more questions

Thank you all for your prayers, worried texts, and messages of support.

First, the antibodies came back negative. Huge relief.  However, we've learned more about what this test shows, and it's not exactly what we previously thought. The lack of antibodies just means that Katy isn't fighting off the infection caused by listeria (listeriosis). This is great news, because we want Katy to be healthy (not just for our baby, but for her three little babies!) This also shows that hopefully she won't have any more effects from the listeria that she was previously experiencing (contractions, vomiting, fever, etc.), which is ah-mazing.  However, unfortunately the lack of antibodies doesn't mean that the baby wasn't exposed.

Enter: gray area. (We're hoping the area will become a lot more black/white as the weeks progress.)

Our understanding is that it's impossible to ever be sure if Baby M is currently being infected by the listeria, (except through testing the spinal fluid or brain fluid, which can't be done in utero.) So based on what we know so far and what doctors' have seen, we'll move forward with the likelihood that baby M was exposed. This means weekly appointments, ultrasounds, monitoring baby's weight, monitoring changes in the placenta, and weekly stress tests. The second anything changes and we see the baby is in distress through these tests, we'd deliver.  However, many times there isn't a warning, and perinatal death just occurs. So there tends to be a fine line between the risks of a premature birth, and risking the possible effect listeria could have. (ie: do we risk taking him at 28 weeks, when he may have been fine until 34 weeks, and then struggle with the issues of a 28 week premature baby? Or do we risk keeping him "cooking" longer, and then risk the complications from listeria?)

Because we aren't sure, (and the doctors aren't sure) about what week is the magic number, we plan on talking to lots of specialists (both in Houston and in Dallas), as well as talking to some neonatologists (aka: newborn docs). We have scheduled appointments in Dallas with two different doctors on Monday morning (week from today), and hopefully we'll be closer with a plan of action by then. In the meantime, all doctors tend to agree on her same treatment of IV antibiotics, so she'll continue with that.

We'll keep you all updated with what we learn/decide in the next few weeks.

Little patient soul, today you are 23 weeks. Our little "week-by-week" cards tell us that you're forming taste buds this week. I can't wait to see you taste a lemon for the first time or your first lick of an ice cream cone. (Albeit, not likely Blue Bell.) Just please keep hanging in there, as we aren't quite ready to meet you yet. But when you make it here, I promise the taste of life will be worth it.

Love to all,
K & W

a frozen bump in the road

Remember when I wrote last week that "things are a little TOO good to be true?" Well, let's just call that a mother's intuition.

This week we hit a big ol' frozen bump in the road.

(Note: After reading you're going to want to scroll to the bottom of this to see if this says "April Fools." However, it's April 10th, and I promise you I'm entirely too tired for this joke.)

Last Tuesday, Katy got really sick. She had some contractions and muscle tightening, and just a really nasty stomach bug. She felt really, really sick for several hours, and then slowly got better until she was back to normal by Easter morning. Then this past Tuesday, a week later, she got a call from her local Kroger. (They tracked her down by her Kroger Card.) They let her know that she purchased Blue Bell ice-cream that had been recalled because of the bacteria, listeria. The symptoms? Everything that happened to her the previous week, just about 12 hours after she ate a bowl of Blue Bell ice-cream.  (Pickles and Ice-cream are supposed to be the staple of a pregnant woman's diet, right?!)

She made a call to our obgyn, who told her to come in ASAP. Then she was referred to a perinatologist (aka: high risk pregnancy doc). By Wednesday afternoon, she was admitted to the hospital.

Listeria is a form of food-poisoning, that many of us may have contracted at different points in our lives. However, in pregnant people, it's very dangerous. The CDC website says the bacteria in pregnancy causes "miscarriages, premature delivery, infection to the newborn (meningitis, paralysis, seizures, blindness, or impairments of the brain, heart, or kidney), and 22% of cases with perinatal listeriosis result in stillborn or neonatal death."  

(Many of you have been following this Blue Bell debacle as it is spread all over every media outlet. If you haven't, google "Blue Bell" and settle in for the night, cause there's enough reading to entertain you for hours.)

Right now, we're waiting for two results. First, her cultures. This blood test will tell us if listeria is currently in her blood stream. Because she's not sick any longer, we really think/hope this will be negative. We won't find that out til mid next week. (They grow the cultures in the lab, and apparently they can't speed that up.) The second test is to test for antibodies. If the test shows a positive result for listeria antibodies, then it's likely the baby has been exposed. If it's negative, it's likely she was either able to a) expel the bacteria before her body had to form antibodies or b) she never contracted the bacteria.

We were really hoping to have the antibody blood test back today. However, we have spoken with doctors (both specialists here in Houston and in Dallas), and we feel like we have a general game plan with either outcome of the results.

If the result is positive, then it's a balancing act of debating how long to keep Baby M in the womb and risk horrific things happening, and when to get him out and risk premature problems. Viability is 23 weeks and 3 days. We will hit 23 weeks this Monday. We are praying and hoping and crossing everything in our body that if it's positive, we will be able to keep him in that warm little womb until 28 weeks. That decreases his likelihood of lifelong problems drastically. We'd work with doctors in Dallas and in Houston to find the best spot for her to deliver. (If we have time to control it, she'd most likely deliver in Houston so the little tot could be at Texas Children's.) The plan will be for her to continue on the same regimen she's on right now (an IV antibiotic treatment 3 times a day). 

If it's negative, we will still continue cautiously. Because the Perinatologist said "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it may not be a duck but we're going to treat it like one", she is going to continue on the IV antibiotic treatment 3 times a day, for 14 days. After that, we will monitor her and the baby weekly by stress tests and ultrasounds. If the baby is ever not gaining weight and/or if the placenta starts to look like it's infected, we'd deliver immediately.

But for now, all we can do is wait. 

Our spirits are higher today than they have been the past two days, although we're very tired and feel like we've been run over by a truck. However, we believe in the religion of Bob Marley, and we know that "every little thing, is gonna be alright."

Love to all,

Kendall and Will

(If you're anything like our families, we know you probably have 100 questions and comments. We thank you for following our story! But please know if I don't get to your questions/texts/emails/messages, we SO appreciate your concern and I will respond as soon as I can!)

Movin' and Groovin' (literally!)

We are past the halfway point, people!! In 2 weeks, we will hit the "age of viability." The age in which if our little totsicle came into the world, survival may be possible. This is mind boggling to me. This pregnancy has been the biggest whirlwind while also being the most agonizingly slow wait. It's some sort of weird combination between the two.

 

Will and I are continuing to go to Dallas monthly for our visits. Last visit was our last ultrasound where they checked out the babe's organs.  We found out that he is definitely a he! We saw his heart beating a strong beat. We saw his eyes flinching like they're trying to open and blink. We saw him yawn and suck his thumb. We saw him cross and uncross his legs each time the ultrasound tech pushed on him. He's just movin' and groovin' in there. He looked like the most perfect little alien you ever have seen.

While we are bursting with excitement, this time has been more emotional for me than the previous weeks. Katy is really beginning to show, and she felt him kick for the first time. (Katy always drinks water, and she stopped for a cherry limeade and the little dude went nuts! And yall, I LOVE cherry limeades! I think we're going to get along well.) I am so unbelievably excited, while also feeling like something horrific is about to happen. It feels like life is a little TOO good right now. Perhaps I'll feel like this until I'm holding him, or perhaps the feeling will begin to fade. But as we have talks of baby showers (don't ask my mom or my sisters about the amount of tears that were just shed over THAT talk) and nursery furniture, I feel like we're jinxing it all. However, at the exact same time, I feel actually EXCITED.  It's a weird emotion to feel-- so excited and so scared.

 

Many of you may remember last Easter. I miscarried on Easter Sunday last year. Sometimes I still feel like that day was yesterday.  Sometimes I still feel like I'm grieving what could have been. However, we continue to remember the Easter message that was applicable to us last year, this year, and maybe every day in between: A new season will come. There is always hope. What looks like the end might just be the beginning.

Happy Easter,

Kendall (and Will)

Ps. Here's one video we made to announce to some of our friends that we were expecting!

We went to a place to just find out the gender, and didn't tell our families we were finding out. Katy told a friend of mine the gender, and then she then handed us the right color silly string without us knowing until we sprayed one another!   (Funny story-- Will is color-blind, and thought it was pink at first. Good news is that he was excited for both genders!)

 

 

 

P.S.S. We told Will's family it was a boy by giving them cupcakes with blue inside the cupcake. (We video taped when we told them, but the video didn't work!)  We told my family by giving them Easter baskets. Each basket had different eggs with candy in them... and only ONE egg had the gender. So they each quickly opened every egg they could to find it!)